The Year 2020: Why I didn't Write

Dear Diary,

I didn't write any blogs in 2020 because I was just trying to survive the year. It was a year of major setbacks and it was a year that no one really saw coming. But in the midst of that I got 2 lessons that I wanted to share with you that basically sums up my 2020. 

The first for me was the lesson God continued to teach me about normalizing suffering. That seems like such a ridiculous thing to be grateful for but let me explain. I first heard this term normalize suffering in a book I was reading called "How People Grow" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. In this book they use a passage of scripture to nail the point home, it is taken from Matthew 4: 1-11, when Jesus was taken into the wilderness and tempted by the devil, the first temptation was turning stones to bread that was a temptation to get Jesus to get his immediate needs met in ways other than God’s way. The second temptation the devil wanted Jesus to test God by throwing himself off the temple, was a temptation to control God rather than trust him and His ways but the last temptation was the one that caused Jesus to have almost an explosive response.

I’m going to read the last part of the passage, “finally, Satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the world for his worship" verses, 8-9 had Jesus accepted, he would not have had to die on the cross, yet he strongly rebuked the devil. This was a temptation to avoid suffering. Growth involves suffering. And Jesus’ response to this temptation is a living invitation for us to see that when we follow his path, we may suffer. However, that suffering is a very small price to pay for the spiritual growth that results”

When we think about what Jesus got because of his suffering he got the victory, he got power and dominion over death, and he got for all of us a way back to the father. The power far outweighs the suffering. Sharing the suffering of Christ is a way to tap into the victory and power that comes on the other side of the spiritual growth. 

So often I am my own worse enemy because I don’t want to be inconvenienced, uncomfortable, hurting. I try to remove myself from hard places and look to play it safe.  I hide when God calls me out because I know that often with a calling to do great things suffering follows. You see in order to get the power to do ministry in the spirit, in order to get to a place of victory where no matter what happens you know that God is in control. In order to speak with the confidence and assurance that Jesus is with you, you have to go through things, you have to sometimes get on a cross and go through a crucifixion. But the power is not in the crucifixion it is in the resurrection and he who began a good work in you is able to complete it. So, I have to get to a place where I understand that suffering is a critical part of my spiritual growth, and I have to get comfortable normalizing it.

The second lesson I learned was the importance of people. Everyone has a brand. I have a brand, my brand is that no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay. I show up. I am often pegged in my friend groups and outside of my friend groups as the one who will figure it out, or make it happen, no matter what the odds are. And when things and people are spinning, I am calm. My boss says it’s a Batman complex. I just laugh when she says that. But the thing about Batman that most people don’t realize is that he wears a mask. And he wears a mask so that people can’t see who he really is. I do that too. But this year, God challenged me to remove the mask. I couldn’t keep up the façade any longer and the craziest thing happened when I got into a space of authenticity and vulnerability. The people who truly loved me, got to love the real me. When I created a space for authenticity and transparency, we were able to share the weight of our burdens, we were able to share the load. There is something to be said when you are not going through hardship alone, but so many of us do it alone because we believe that people won’t understand, or they’ll judge us or they won’t like the real you and that is a lie of the enemy to keep us from connecting with one another because we are so much stronger together. My relationship with my friends and family have never been stronger because we’ve connected on a whole other level.

So even in the midst of what was probably one of the toughest years in history. I experienced lessons I could use for a lifetime. 

Love,

THE CHRISTIAN SINGLE WOMAN